Ten Years Ago

Our Lady, Patroness of the United States of America, pray for us!
Picture credits

Ten years already. Time sure goes by quickly. As for those of us who have grown up with the events of years past, particularly those on a certain day in September, perhaps these ten years have affected us more drastically than would ten in our parents' lives. My communications teacher thought it would be a good experiment to have everyone in his class write a reflection on how 9/11 affected us, the generation that has grown up with this reality. I have a bad habit of posting my homework only because I can't think of anything else to put up (School has that odd effect on you. Somehow you think up your best blog posts when you don't quite intend to). I enjoyed reading everyone's take, though most of us didn't quite understand what had occurred. As for me, I remember that morning rather well.

I remember sitting at my dinning table that morning and doing my homework assignments when my aunt called my mom. I didn’t catch what she said but could hear the urgency in her voice as my mom rushed to the living room and turned the TV on. My siblings and I weren’t allowed to watch the almost frantic activity on the screen, but immediately were aware that something was amiss as my mom began to cry. Even though I was homeschooled, I could feel that the world was thrown into turmoil, suddenly on shaky footing in its unexpected uncertainty. What we once considered neigh impregnable was suddenly – and through a child’s perception, permanently – contradicted.

It was the oddest mix of feelings. On one hand, people were experiencing a sudden religious fervor. On the other, since Hawaii was the bridge between continental US and had almost extremely heightened security, there were strange undercurrents of mistrust particularly when it came to traveling. My mom could not shield us from all the tragedy; eventually I had a faint idea of what had occurred. It terrified me. I had thought, as a carefree nine-year-old, America to be the bravest of nations, quite akin to Superman. I’d overlooked the fact that even Superman fell to kryptonite. The event had taken my ideal and slapped it across the cheek, leaving me in shocked confusion.

9/11 forever changed my perception of America, possibly in ways that I am today still unsure of. Yet one hope still broke through the murky confusion, and that was the response of the heroes during the aftermath. I realized that, while she isn’t the invincible ideal and still needs every single one of her citizens, every single one of them have the courage and responsibility to proudly carry on. We are through the grace of God who we make ourselves to be. After all, isn’t that one of the principles that brought life to our country in the first place?

Because of 9/11, I’ve grown up with the idea that we were given a chance; a chance to redefine America as our founding fathers meant from the beginning. Coming up to date, the question I now have for my generation is: how will we do it?

You know the saying "Don't Look Back?"

Happy Summer everyone! Yes, I'm sorry for yet another great divide between posts. >.< I won't blame you for not coming here anymore. I really did mean to blog more this summer...but...uh....I had sooo many books to read! And clam chowder to make! And piano lessons....and...and...oh nevermind. (No more excuses, Cy. Just blog already.)

Anyway, I hope this random post finds you well, anonymous reader. :) And thanks for visiting!

Earlier in the month I was cleaning my computer, storing away all those old files into a portable storage device. (Wouldn't it be easy if you could do that with some other things? ^^) Ah, the convenience of the modern days we live in! The only complications I had were that the old files were so old that they needed to be converted into a format that could actually be read (They were in a .wps format. Don't save your work on those). While checking to make sure they had survived the ordeal, I stumbled upon some journal files I had written a few years ago. Curiosity killed this little cat, and I ended up reading a couple more. Gee. By the time I was ready to call it quits, I was ready to laugh my head off!

I remember writing those little tidbits, trying to be oh-so-eloquent, serious, and grown up! (And if you go waaay back to some entries on this blog, you'll see what I mean! I sound like a little girl because...well...I was a little girl! Hahahaha!!) On a more "serious, grown-up" note, I remember having to climb all those molehills, bumps, and mounds - which at the time I thought were impenetrable mountains.

That's what stopped me from laughing my head off. To my little girl self, those molehills never seemed to have a peak to peek over, and stumbling over those bumps made overcoming those mounds the most difficult thing. At the time, none of those difficulties struck me as funny in the slightest (even though I knew I would laugh someday. When I was like, old...er). At the time, I couldn't understand why I had to climb those molehills to get to the other side. "Why, God?? Couldn't I just find some other, easier way?"

Looking back now, I know why. If God hadn't made me climb the molehill, I would still be stuck on the bottom of the mountain. If I hadn't stumbled over the bumps, I wouldn't have the balance to jump over ravines. If He had brought me somewhere other than over those mounds, I would have missed the spectacular view the climb had brought me.


And that was the result of only a few years.

Sometimes we don't get why we go through certain things until they're over and we have to chance to look back. We don't realize how amazing our story has become.

So, go ahead, look back and enjoy the view so far. Be amazed at how God has brought you to where you are now. Don't linger too long, though, because ahead of you, there's still more of the adventure to come.

"Will you be My valentine?"

So we went to Mass today, and we were pretty early so we had more than a few minutes to pray and prepare ourselves for Mass. I found myself staring at the above stained glass window, realizing that it was Jesus and His Sacred Heart. Then I realized....that every time we receive the Eucharist, we receive a Valentine from God. And the best part is that this Valentine is for forever. <3


(I really, really like this new song! It's a fun song by Jamie Grace.)

Hope

Ok, so I'm not much of a fan of American Idol. (I mean, Catholics and the whole "idol" thing don't have a friendly history, and shouldn't.) But these two stories caught my eye.
(Yeah, they're kind of long....but bear with me, these are definitely worth it.)

Chris Medina:


Paris Tassin:


Hollywood being, well...Hollywood and all, I admit I'm more than a little skeptical.
Yet when you hear stories like these, a bit of real hope kindles in your heart. Not just the hopeful kind of hope either. You start to think that, maybe the entire world isn't as messed up as you thought. There are still people like Chris and Paris who, even if they may not be Christians, still have good hearts and are willing to do the right thing despite what it costs them.
Recently my Hawaii community has had several happenings that, as a Catholic Christian, I know do not bode well for us physically and morally. It's times like these when you want to pack everything, set sail, say "adios", and leave everyone with the huge mess that they're making. But then you attend something like a pro-life rally and see hundreds, if not thousands, of young people stand up for something that most of their friends would condemn.
Chris, Paris, and all those young people...it reminds you that there's still some good in this world. And that good is always worth fighting for.

Update 2/1:
Guess what Father said in his homily today? "As long as there is life, there is always hope."

Emmanuel

Mele Kalikimaka and Happy New Year to you all! May this year be filled with God's grace and many blessings! =)

To me, new year's eve night is filled with the excitement that bursts in the air along with the fireworks, but also comes with a twist in my stomach for what the new year could bring. It's always hard to stay calm, especially if you don't quite know what you're doing, where you're going, and mostly taking God's word on what seems like a whim. Yet every time that bout of nervousness nearly sweeps me off my feet, God sends a beautiful light in the sky to remind me of His presence and to guide my wavering heart. Whether it's a real light in the cold sky or an internal Eppiphany star of grace, God sends a message that lasts through the ages no matter what year it may be: that He is ever with us, our Emmanuel.

"My Lord God, I have no idea where I am going.
I do not see the road ahead of me.
I cannot know for certain where it will end.
Nor do I really know myself,
and the fact that I think that I am following your will
does not mean that I am actually doing so.
But I believe that the desire to please you does in fact please you.
And I hope I have that desire in all that I am doing.
I hope that I will never do anything apart from that desire.
And I know that if I do this you will lead me by the right road
though I may know nothing about it.
Therefore will I trust you always
though I may seem to be lost and in the shadow of death.
I will not fear, for you are ever with me,
and you will never leave me to face my perils alone.
Amen.
~Thomas Merton"

The Unexpected

(Tsk, tsk. So messy. ^_^)


This Saturday, our parish Youth and Young Adult group is holding a movie event in time for the 1 year anniversary of Father Damien's canonization. So in preparation, we've had meetings these past two Fridays to get ready with some poster boards on Father Damien. Since everyone knew were were in the middle of our moving process, my siblings and I weren't placed in charge of anything. Whew! "Thank goodness for that," we thought. Unfortunately, our relief was too good to be true and very short lived. We skipped one meeting, but attended the recent one ('cause we're finally done moving ^_^), wondering what became of everyone during the first meeting. Sure enough, we found that only 2 out of 3 poster boards were actually being worked on (and not quite done at all), and my little sis and I were to roll up our sleeves to work on the last one. Ack. Yup, I could hear God laughing at me from that bare tri-fold cardboard. =P
In no way am I condemning the people who didn't show up to do their assignments. For all we know, they had a good reason not to be there. But it did remind me that we always have to be ready and willing. We might not be expecting God to hand a project to us immediately after we'd just finished the last one, but He often does just to keep us busy and on our toes. ;) Like in today's Gospel, the poor servant had just come from plowing the fields and keeping the sheep, when his master goes and tells him to "prepare supper for me, and gird yourself and serve me, till I eat and drink; and afterward you shall eat and drink". Well...after all, "We are unworthy servants; we have only done what was our duty."
We must always be ready and willing to accept the unexpected happenings in our life, and perhaps one day we might hear: "Well done good and faithful servant...Come and share your master's happiness!"

Btw, you are all invited to this Saturday's movie event. XD If you haven't yet guessed, the movie will be a film on Father Damien. If you're on the island and can make it, join us at the Cathedral Kamiano Center at 7pm!

Note to Self

If God laughs at you...


Make sure you laugh with Him.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
=D

Thoughts on moving

A friend of ours asked how we've been doing wih our move. Thinking back upon the state of our house, all I could say was that we were doing alright...I think... If anyone has ever moved house before, then I'm pretty sure the image of helter skelter books, half filled boxes, and all around random tidbits can be imagined. O Progress, where have you gone??
Ok, so for the past week we've been sorting through our things, giving away what we've out grown, stuffing our stuff into boxes...and it was still a mess this morning with no indication that we've actually made any progress. Or at least that's what it seemed like.
Today we hauled away several boxes. It was only then that the house felt a little roomy-er, and we realized that we had actually done quite a bit; more than we'd originally thought. *gasp!*
I guess life can be like that sometimes. Maybe we can't see how much progress or good we've done at the moment until we move into our heavenly home where He shows us just how far we've come.

"What it means to stay awake"

This is actually yesterday's meditation from the Magnificat, but it's too good to keep to myself. Just had to post it! =)

What does progress mean? Progress means diligence, application, and discretion. More, it means concentration to its depths on the work we are doing - for that is where God is for us - without worrying about the past or the future. That is the only way to banish all tension, all anxiety, all those useless imaginations which are so much more tiring than the work itself.
There are two dispositions you must never lose sight of if you would make progress and at the same time remain at peace. For the moment, be content with what you are, and you will find joy and peace, since you already possess God, although maybe imperfectly. Bear with yourself as you are; give simply, but fully, what you have.
As regards the future, never say: "What I am today is good enough for tomorrow." Strive always to become better; to advance towards a closer union with God. Let the present serve as a starting point for the future. Thus you will go from God to God.
Life progresses slowly, and it is only what endures that counts.
~ Dom Agustin Guillerand, O.Cart.
(1945) French Cathusian monk and revered spiritual author.

As a certain member of the Pauline Family would say, "A little progress every day!"

And God Said...

Kudos to my Aunt for this! ^_^
(and here's a brief look at our summer!)


I asked God to take away my habit.
God said:
No.
It is not for Me to take away,
but for you to give it up.





I asked God to make my handicap whole.
God said:
No.
Your spirit is whole,
your body is only temporary.





I asked God to grant me patience.
God said:
No.
Patience is a byproduct of tribulations;
it isn't granted, it is learned.





I asked God to give me happiness.
God said:
No.
I give you blessings;
Happiness is up to you.





I asked God to spare me pain.
God said, No.
Suffering draws you apart from worldly cares,
and brings you closer to Me.





I asked God to make my spirit grow.
God said:
No.
You must grow on your own,
but I will prune you to make you fruitful.





I asked God for all things
that I might enjoy life.
God said:
No.
I will give you life,
so that you may enjoy all things.





I asked God to help me LOVE others, as much as He loves me.
God said:
...Ahhhh,
finally you have the idea.

Changes

...and I don't just mean that the leaves are going to turn brown and red (even though it doesn't really happen here.)

"To create fundamental change, we, the members of society, have to transform ourselves. If we want real peace, we have to demonstrate our love and understanding so that those responsible for making decisions can learn from us."- Thich Nhat Hanh

Our family has been going through a lot of changes. We kids are growing up and trying to find out who we are and who we'd like to be, and it's not always a smooth ride out. Not only do we have to adjust to certain "little" brother heights, but to the way we act and react to the environment around us, and if we don't adapt or correct each other when needed...well, let's just say that some of us end up going off into our rooms or gardens to blow off steam. =) In the end, though, at least one of us makes that effort (or at least tries to) to "kiss and make up" and remembers to do better. Soon, the whole house is back to its original cheer.
The one thing that we have to keep in mind is that we cannot wait around for a better change to happen. It has to begin with each of us. We're the change that has to happen, and it doesn't necessarily mean standing on a stage shouting encouragements to the crowds. It could be a smile or a simple uplifting greeting. It could be a quiet yet meaningful word of encouragement. If you could make a big change, then do it! Help in a soup kitchen. Donate to a cause. Whatever you do, let the Light of Christ shine in this world that needs Him so much! Be that hope that so many need. Be that change in the dark.

Random thought #928

I like random thoughts. ^_^
Well, I was out raking the leaves from under our mango tree today. One section was finally done so I went around the tree to the next. Two minutes later I turned around. Uhhh...leaves there again?? Where'd they come from?
It kind of reminded me how unfaithful the Israelites were...and how were are sometimes. *pauses in reflection...* God had hardly finished sweeping up the mess they had been in and there was another one! But He didn't abandon them. Of course He wasn't altogether happy (major understatement...), but like a loving Father He picked them up again.

Random thoughts...or are they?

“What is the best lesson a music teacher can give to a student? It is not teaching him to read notes, nor how to play well. Rather, the best lesson is that which gives the student a love for music.” ~Anon.

“I know some say, let us have good laws, and no matter for the men that execute them: but let them consider, that though good laws do well, good men do better.” ~William Penn

“If I speak in human and angelic tongues but do not have love, I am a resounding gong or a clashing cymbal. And if I have the gift of prophecy and comprehend all mysteries and all knowledge; if I have all faith so as to move mountains but do not have love, I am nothing. If I give away everything I own, and if I hand my body over so that I may boast but do not have love, I gain nothing.”
~Saint Paul (1 Cor 13:1-3)


Sometimes, we get so focused on the superficial shell of what we were doing that we forget the heart of why we were doing that thing in the first place. It’s like a birthday cake. Sure, outside it can be the fanciest cake the world has seen; but if it tastes like sand, your little birthday boy isn’t going to care about how cool it looks.
Let's not forget the Heart of the entire matter: God.

Check, check, reality check...

*sigh* Just one of those times when you suddenly jolt out of a 'fairytale' mode. You know, the kind of mode you get into when everything 'seems' perfect, when you're really not seeing the entire picture. If you choose to hide in some fairy book mindset away in a corner, singing away and hoping that what's going on behind you doesn't exist, you're only going to make things worse. You're avoiding the question, and putting off answering it until tomorrow. Well...it's still going to be there, and if you're homeschooled like me, you're going to end up with double the work - double the questions to answer on a paper. After all, tomorrow is really today, if that makes any sense.
Suffering, pain, the kinds of things that twist your heart until it sinks...they're real, and no amount of wishing is going to wish them away. And unless it's what God says is the right way of it, a few fervent Hail Marys aren't going to whisk these realities away either. God doesn't take them away like that. There's a short prayer that I found today. It goes something like: "Dear God, I know that nothing will happen to me today that You won't help me overcome." It's the short version of one of my favorite prayers: "My God, I do not know what will happen to me todayI only know that nothing will happen to me That was not forseen by You And directed to my greater good for all eternity. This is enough for me. I adore Your eternal and unfathomable designs. I submit to them with all my heart for love of You. I offer the sacrifice of my whole being to You, And join my sacrifice to that of Jesus, my divine Savior. In His name and by His infinite merits, ask you for patience in my sufferings and perfect submission, So that everything You want or permit to happen Will result in Your greater glory And my sanctification. Amen."

There's something about a God not making problems vanish. It makes seem God far away and...not exactly someone to confide in. There's something about God taking our hand and walking through our problems WITH us. It means God's closer than we think.


One of the beautiful things about the mysterious thing called life...one moment it can be a gale with a powerful force enough to knock rip trees from the earth, then next it's a delicate rose petal...fading away into the ground to nurture the sapling that would grow beside it.
Blah, Cy-Cy is probably babbling at this point. Goodnight, invisible internet friends! Until next time when Cy is crazy enough to stay up and actually post something. :) She doesn't exactly know why she's even posting it.

Last month, my family and I watched the movie Fireproof over at Pauline Books & Media for a movie night. Even though Valentine's Day was already over by that time, I thought it was the perfect movie for Lent and Easter.

John Holt: Has she thanked you for anything you've done the last 20 days?
Caleb Holt: No! And you'd think after I washed the car, I've changed the oil, do the dishes, cleaned the house, that she would try to show me a little bit of gratitude. But she doesn't! In fact, when I come home, she makes me like I'm - like I'm an enemy! I'm not even welcome in my own home, Dad. That is what really ticks me off! Dad, for the last three weeks, I have bent over backwards for her. I have tried to demonstrate that I still care about this relationship. I bought her flowers, which she threw away. I have taken her insults and her sarcasm, but last night was it. I made dinner for her. I did everything I could to demonstrate that I care about her, to show value for her, and she spat in my face! She does not deserve this, Dad. I'm not doing it anymore! How am I supposed to show love to somebody over and over and over who constantly rejects me?

...but that's exactly what God does for us - has done for us since He created us. That's exactly what we celebrate during the last few gasps in the Triduum and in the great feast of Easter: God's ever faithful Love to those who don't deserve it.
It's obvious that we don't. When Our Lord gave us the most precious gift of Himself in the Eucharist, Judas was in the very act of betraying Him. People rejoiced at his arrival in Jerusalem, only to shout insults and spit on Him on the way to the Cross how many hours later! How frustrating is that?? After God's Son become one of us and spent all those years in befriending and teaching? After all that and only a few had the courage to stand by His Cross at the end?
Yet through all of humanity's failings, such a beautiful thing occurs! God picks us up from out mud heap and washes us clean to shine with Him in the glory of Easter. He scoops us up and brings us to Himself and dances with us around all creation in victory. He pulls us into the celebration of joyful song and dance! Why...? Because that's what - or rather Who - True Love is. Remember Saint Paul's letter to the Corinthians on love? God is every one of those definitions. He is pure undying Love holding out His hand.
Now the question is, will you accept?


"Your Love makes me forget what I have been
Your Love makes me see who I really am."



...and it's only with God's Love that we can be all who we were made to be: His children.


Have a Blessed Easter, everyone! ^_^

More to life

It's not Christmas anymore, is it? Time to post something new...or at least new-ish for the next, um, couple months. =)



There's only so far we can reach, so much we can acheive, and so high we can climb on our own. No matter where we try to get by ourselves down here on earth, there's always going to be something short of perfection...something we long for: a fullness we cannot fufill.
God picks us up from where we are on the floor and places us up on the shelf so that we can truly be all who we were made to be, if only we let Him.

A quick post...

Today's reading from Maccabees:
"From them came forth a sinful root, Antiochus Epiphanes, son of Antiochus the king; he had been a hostage in Rome. He began to reign in the one hundred and thirty-seventh year of the kingdom of the Greeks.
In those days lawless men came forth from Israel, and misled many, saying, 'Let us go and make a covenant with the Gentiles round about us, for since we separated from them many evils have come upon us.'
This proposal pleased them,
and some of the people eagerly went to the king. He authorized them to observe the ordinances of the Gentiles.
So they built a gymnasium in Jerusalem, according to Gentile custom,
and removed the marks of circumcision, and abandoned the holy covenant. They joined with the Gentiles and sold themselves to do evil.
Then the king wrote to his whole kingdom that all should be one people,
and that each should give up his customs.
All the Gentiles accepted the command of the king. Many even from Israel gladly adopted his religion; they sacrificed to idols and profaned the sabbath.
Now on the fifteenth day of Chislev, in the one hundred and forty-fifth year, they erected a desolating sacrilege upon the altar of burnt offering. They also built altars in the surrounding cities of Judah,
and burned incense at the doors of the houses and in the streets.
The books of the law which they found they tore to pieces and burned with fire.
Where the book of the covenant was found in the possession of any one, or if any one adhered to the law, the decree of the king condemned him to death.
But many in Israel stood firm and were resolved in their hearts not to eat unclean food.
They chose to die rather than to be defiled by food or to profane the holy covenant; and they did die."

Is it just me, or does it sound scary familiar?
Whatever is to come, let's remain steadfast in faith and love for God...knowing that He will be by our side through it all.
"No storm can shake my inmost calm, for to that Rock I'm clinging. Since Love is Lord of Heaven and earth, how can I keep from singing?"


BTW, how are you all doing? :-)

Beautiful Ending

New song by BarlowGirl! Yay ♫ It's one of my favs now...




Oh, tragedy has taken so many
Love lost 'cause they all forgot who You were
And it scares me to think that I would choose
My life over You
My selfish heart
Divides me from You
It tears us apart

So tell me what is our ending?
Will it be beautiful
So beautiful?

Oh, why do I let myself let go
Of hands that painted the stars and hold tears that fall?
And the pride of my heart makes me forget
It's not me but You
Who makes the heart beat
I'm lost without You
And dying from me

So tell me what is our ending?
Will it be beautiful
So beautiful?
Will my life find me by Your side?
Your love is beautiful
So beautiful

At the end of it all I wanna be in Your arms

So tell me what is our ending?
Will it be beautiful
So beautiful?
Will my life find me by Your side?
Your love is beautiful
So beautiful...



Sometimes at the end of the day, I'd look back at what I'd done. God had given the gift of another day; had it been spent chasing after my own selfish gains that lasted only for only a few hours, or had it been given back to Him and spent well? Had that gift been spent and used into something beautiful...?

Bread from Heaven...

Yesterday and today's reading


Panis angelicus
fit panis hominum;
Dat panis caelicus
figuris terminum:
O res mirabilis!
Manducat Dominum.
Pauper, servus et humilis.

The angelic bread
becomes the bread of men;
The heavenly bread
ends all prefigurations:
What wonder!
consumes the Lord
a poor and humble servant.
~Saint Thomas Aquinas~


"...and all ate and were satisfied."

We attended the 6pm Mass last night and the lead soprano just sang it afterwards (it wasn't planned or anything, she wasn't even facing the front). It was so lovely and I couldn't get it out of my head...
...that such a great Happening everyday during Mass occurs in the simplest of appearances, and all becuase of the unfathomable Love God has for we who can barely pay attention sometimes.

Just a reminder...

Picture by Mom

You are what you eat.


"We are the Body of Christ..."