To me, new year's eve night is filled with the excitement that bursts in the air along with the fireworks, but also comes with a twist in my stomach for what the new year could bring. It's always hard to stay calm, especially if you don't quite know what you're doing, where you're going, and mostly taking God's word on what seems like a whim. Yet every time that bout of nervousness nearly sweeps me off my feet, God sends a beautiful light in the sky to remind me of His presence and to guide my wavering heart. Whether it's a real light in the cold sky or an internal Eppiphany star of grace, God sends a message that lasts through the ages no matter what year it may be: that He is ever with us, our Emmanuel.
"My Lord God, I have no idea where I am going.
I do not see the road ahead of me.
I cannot know for certain where it will end.
Nor do I really know myself,
and the fact that I think that I am following your will
does not mean that I am actually doing so.
But I believe that the desire to please you does in fact please you.
And I hope I have that desire in all that I am doing.
I hope that I will never do anything apart from that desire.
And I know that if I do this you will lead me by the right road
though I may know nothing about it.
Therefore will I trust you always
though I may seem to be lost and in the shadow of death.
I will not fear, for you are ever with me,
and you will never leave me to face my perils alone.
Amen.
~Thomas Merton"
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